A Mother's worry..

I remember being pregnant with Nadia.. Late in my pregnancy there was a day that I felt she wasn't moving as she normally did. So I was sent to the hospital for a NST.. I remember sitting there as the lady ran the ultrasound over my belly telling me she was just fine and I had told her "I was just so worried something was wrong" And she told me something that sticks with me until this day. "She is in the safest place she will ever be. Once they are born there will always be something to worry about. When they are babies you worry about SIDS, then they become toddlers and you worry about them getting hurt getting into something, at school age you worry about who they are hanging around, then they start to drive!!" I would never know how right she was until they got here. I know at the time I was thinking- but I could protect them when they are here! But she was so right... There is always something to worry about with them.. I worry a lot too. I'm so overprotective of them.. Husam often suggests activities for them but I veto them if I feel it's too dangerous. He tries to talk sense into me that they can get hurt doing just about anything! And he is probably right. But I like to keep the chances of them getting hurt as low as possible. And the less risky things they do- the lower I keep that risk. Call me crazy. But it's how I run things around here.

AAAANNNYYYWAAAYS. I check on the kids every night before I head to bed myself. I did it when I had one- I do it now that I have 3. First I put Samirah in my bed. I had just finished nursing her, so put her down and kissed her. Then to see how Nadia is. I make sure she is breathing (I realize she's 4 but it's habit at this point) She is, but she kicked off her covers and I tuck her back in and give her a kiss. Then I go into Sami's room (Only one who doesn't co sleep anymore) He has a video moniter so I watch him that way. But I go in to check him, I put my hand through his hair and immediately Mommy alarms set off. He is BURNING UP! Panic sets in, as it always does when one of them are sick. I start to think a million things, is he okay, we are getting a snowstorm tomorrow what if I can't get him to a doctor or hospital!.. What if the baby gets it!? She'll have to be hospitalized!!! So as you can see I may be a bit neurotic. But oh well. I always say you can never care too much!

So off I rush to get the thermometer. Sure enough the poor guy has a fever of 102.7 .. Of course I"m terribly upset. I call for Husam to bring the motrin. Sami wakes up and seems fine other than the out of control fever. We give him the Motrin, I nurse him, and put him back to sleep.

I spent the rest of the night laying awake worrying about all I stated above. and walking around taking everyone's temperature every 30 minutes..

A Mother's Worry. And to think- it only gets worse from here!