I blog so much about my children I never get to blog about my awesome husband Husam! I met Husam when I had first turned 18. I'm 27 now! It's hard to believe 9 years have gone by.. But they have. Things aren't always perfect, and we've definitely had our share or hard times, but we've come out the other side. Closer than what we were before... I'd like to think.
Our friends had set us up. Thinking, since we were both Middle Eastern we'd have a lot in common! I thought this was a rather silly reason to set two people up, but I guess it really wasn't all that silly since I ended up marrying the guy...
I remember speaking to him on the phone for the first time. There were no awkward silences. He was so easy to talk to. It was like talking to an old friend whom I'd known my whole life. We hit it off pretty well over the phone so we had decided to meet up in person. (with our friends who had set us up of course "just in case")
We all went out for dinner and I thought he was just tops! I was completely enamored by him. I remember at the end of our first date, I turned to my best friend and I said "THAT is the man I'm going to marry" I truly believed it too. Everyone called me crazy.. But I did marry him. So I guess I wasn't as crazy as they thought.
We dated for nearly 3 years before we decided to get married. But we had talked about it so much it was just a natural step for us. We knew we wanted to share our lives together. Start a family together. The whole Sha-bang!
Our first year of marriage was fantastic, the second year (When I was pregnant with Nadia) was tough, and the year after as well.. I think he had a tough time adjusting into parenthood. It was definitely a difficult time for us and I wondered how we'd ever come out of it okay.
But we did. Six years of marriage later we are stronger than ever. He's my best friend. And I like to think I'm his. He tells me I am anyways. Our life does not revolve around outside friends. Neither of us really have many. We definitely don't go out with them. Our lives revolve around our little family.. He works so hard so I can stay home with our kids. Something we both feel strongly about. I don't think I tell him quite often enough how much I truly appreciate that.
We have our moments, trust me. But overall, there isn't any other person I can imagine being with in this life. He isn't perfect, but for all his imperfections there are many more things that make me love him like crazy. Even after all these years.
There are so many different aspects of Attachment Parenting.. A lot of the things I've done in Parenting were just things that came naturally to me..
When I was pregnant with my oldest, Nadia.. I knew I wanted to be the BEST Mom in the world , I wanted to be PERFECT!! (keep dreaming, right? ha ha )
When she was born and they handed her to me, it was instinct that told me to put her to the breast and nurse her. It wasn't as easy as I had imagined, but it still felt naturally for me to do so. It was instinct that made me want to hold her closely to me as much as possible. Do you know how many times I heard "You will spoil that baby if you don't put her down!!" Really?? Spoil a baby with love?
It was instinct for me to put her in my bed so I could watch over her. These things felt like the right thing to do. It wasn't something I had researched at length at the time.
As more children came along, and I learned more, and researched more I found out there were so many benefits to how I had been parenting. And how I could become an even better parent.. For me, I always thought it was normal what I was doing.. But talking to other Mom's I realized not everyone did those things. Some people felt more comfortable putting their child in a crib. I even came across some Moms who let their child cry it out. These ways of parenting were just not for me. I could never sit by while one of my kids cried. In fact, I still can't. It doesn't feel right.
So, for me, these practices came naturally to me. How about for you? Was it something you researched and learned about? Or was it just what you felt was the right things to do at the time?
So I've heard a lot of to-do lately about breastfeeding effecting a marriage negatively. Now, I have nursed all 3 of my kids. Still nursing my two youngest in fact. And I like to think I have a pretty strong marriage...
My husband and I have been together for 9 years. The very happiest years of my life for sure. So as I hear people suggesting that breastfeeding could be effecting us negatively I decided to take a step back and evaluate.
We have, like I mentioned, 3 beautiful children. I always new I'd breastfeed. I think if your REALLY going to do it, you have an idea going in that it's what you want. In fact I believe I heard at one of my LLL meetings that by the age of 16 a girl has a clear positive or negative view of nursing. I don't know where I got my view from since NO ONE in my family breastfed. I just knew it was best. And of course, I wanted to be the best Mom ever to my kids. So breastfeeding it was!
I remember Husam being very supportive when it came to nursing Nadia.. In his religion, breastfeeding is mandatory for at least 2 years. So he never batted an eye at all the boobin' co-sleeping, and baby wearing that was going on in our house.
True, for the past 4 and a half years there has been a child between us in our bed lol. But he's never complained to me. And we've obviously found a way to have more kids! lol Two fold! So I decided to ask him if he felt our marriage was being negatively effected by my breastfeeding. His answer? "Are you out of your mind? No way!" He went on to explain that watching me nurture and do what is without a doubt BEST for our kids, he's only fell in love with me more. I think we can both acknowledge our relationship is different than it was- say .. 6 years ago. But I think kids change that regardless. And I don't think it's a bad thing.
We both recognize this time is about raising our family in the best way we can. Sure, there are sacrifices. But we plan on being together for the rest of our lives! So these young years, when I'm needed SO much by them, are really a blink of an eye. And what husband wouldn't understand that? What marriage would really break under something so beautiful and wonderful??
So has breastfeeding destroyed our marriage? Put it on the rocks?? No way. Has it changed it?? Sure.. No more than having kids has though. And only for now. There will be a time when our kids grow up, move out of our home, and we will again be left with each other. Loving one and other much more than we did to begin with.
What about you? How do YOU feel breastfeeding has effected your marriage?
Graduated Preschool today! I cried. I cried on the first day and again today on the last day. (Okay I cried the whole first week, but we don't have to tell anyone shh!) It didn't help that they were playing "You raise me up" over the loud speakers while we were waiting for pick up. I know I know, those of you who don't have kids are saying, "It's just preschool!!!" And I guess I could see that.. But for us, it's a BIG DEAL! It was the kickoff of what we hope to be an excellent school career for her! She loves school SO much and she's so upset that she won't be going all summer. And she is concerned how she'll practice her letters !! I assured her we'd work on them together here at home. I can't believe my BABY is going to Kindergarten. It's bittersweet really. It seems like not long ago, I was a nervous new Mom walking her up the walkway to our old apartment. I wanted to be the best Mom to her. I'd dress her up, and play with her, and take every moment enjoying her. Yet still. It went too fast. Where has my little baby gone? She's now a beautiful young girl. Dare I say gorgeous? With her contagious smile... Her long lashes, and beautiful hazel-ish eyes. She has a fantastic sense of humor, and is the sweetest little thing. My Baby Nadia. Momma loves you. To the moon, and back again. Your my entire life. You made me a mother. I love you. I'm proud of you. Your my world
So Samirah is getting a tooth .. WTH?! Nadia didn't get a tooth until over a year old.. Sami.. 8 months. Samirah JUST turned five months two days ago! I can't understand it! Anyways, she's been having a tough time with it. Skipping naps, lots of fussing, nursing ALL ...Night... LONG! I'm completely exhausted, but mostly, I feel bad for her...
Now laugh as I try to put together some coherent thoughts on such little sleep..
Sami? What's new with Sam? Lots of talking. Is this a good thing? or a bad thing? I haven't decided yet.
Nadia.. Almost out of school... She's upset, I'm excited. Looking forward to more time with her..
me? Tired. blah.. I have full intentions on writing a super fabulous blog about breastfeeding or natural birth.. or SOMETHING. Something amazing, and interesting and informative. I'll get there. One of these days when I've had more than 3 hours of sleep. I promise!
I'm a 28 year old mother to 4 beautiful children. God has truly blessed me with these Angels. My oldest daughter is Nadia. She was born in 2005 and has a very bubbly personality. She can also be a bit stubborn. She's extremely smart! Sometimes TOO smart! My second, a boy, named Sami was born in April of 08 he is such a calm loving little boy. He brings me endless smiles. He is so sweet to me and I can't imagine not having him to brighten my day! My third another girl, Samirah *January 2010* is such a good little girl. She loves to make people laugh and is always looking for a way to do it! Our fourth miracle, baby Maya is such a joy, A wonderful baby whom I love so much. I tandem nurse and I practice attachment parenting- You will see plenty of that on my blog ;-)