FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!

Nadia is NOT listening to me AT ALL today.

Sami REFUSES to go on the potty.

And Samirah won't let me put her down.

that is all.

Christmas!

Merry Christmas

I hope you all had a lovely holiday!! Our Christmas was nice. The kids got all they hoped for and then some. And we even went through the playroom and donated 12 garbage bags filled with old toys, in addition to some that were just too big to fit into the bags. I was surprised at how anxious Nadia was to give! She gave up some of her very beloved toys to kids who have less. I"m proud of her for that.

She really embraced the true meaning of the season. To give. I hope I'm raising caring little citizens. In our everyday life it's hard to tell. My kids are fairly spoiled at times, though I'm trying to work on that!! But it's nice to know she does the right thing when it counts.

So our holiday was nice.. Calm.. Samirah got sick though.. She was in the ER on Christmas night with breathing troubles. She's on the mend and doing fairly well now. Not 100%, but doing better for sure..

So.. Does anyone have big plans for New Years Eve? We will likely just go out for dinner and come home to watch TV... Husam's twin normally comes with us, but not sure if he'll be joining us this year.. We'll see..

Is anyone going to be in NYC to see the ball drop??? As close as we live (And have lived) to NYC we've NEVER went in for NYE.. I just can't imagine it! The city is crowded and congested on the most normal of days... And I hate crowds.. So I can't imagine being there on NYE.. I'd likely have some type of panic attack ! ! I'm not such a "city" person. Hence why we moved out here into the country.. Although I'm not sure I'm a "country" person either... Maybe suburbs? Ha! No matter...

Annnnyways... that's all that's going on here. Nothing major or exciting happening, but if anything does pop up I'll be sure to let everyone know!

Back and "Fourth"

Literally. I go back and forth constantly about adding a Fourth baby to the family... Most days I feel like I could handle it.. But as I've mentioned in previous posts I'll have one of those days and think that 4 would overwhelm me..

The thought of never being pregnant again, never giving birth, never having a newborn, or nursing, or watching another baby grow makes me incredibly sad. Almost unbearably sad... And I wonder if that alone means I truly do want another. Or if I'll feel that way no matter how many children I have. How does a person ever really know they are "done" anyways?

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE being pregnant. Even through morning sickness, aches, pain, lethargy, constipation. All of it. I LOVE pregnancy. The joy of the miracle outweighs any of the discomforts. It's such an amazing experience and I can't imagine not going through it at least one more time. At the same time.. I don't want to take away from the three beautiful babies I do have. They need me so much and sometimes I Think it wouldn't be fair to add an addition and take away some of their attention.

I do try to make sure they all have individual time with me everyday- and I have a good system worked out for us. *sighs* I don't know. I suppose I have plenty of time to decide this. That's what Husam tells me. I'm only 27 and Samirah is only 11 months.

Just venting out some feelings!

Being Thankful...

I've been thinking a lot lately about taking things for granted.. I have so much.. that I wonder, do I sometimes take the little things for granted?? I am sure I do.. I try not to, but sometimes I just don't think of it...

I have a roof over my head when so many people have no home. They worry where they will spend the night..

We have a fridge full of food. How many times have I wandered into the kitchen and stomped around exclaiming "There is nothing to eat!" When in reality I don't know what starving or "having nothing to eat" truly means. There are children who ARE truly starving.. Families who worry where their next meal will come from... I try not to take this for granted. I donate to food banks and drives. Whenever Nadia's school is asking for food donations , I'm more than happy to put in more than they ask for. Because God is good to us. We have so much.

My Children. God help me if I ever take them for granted. They are one gift who I truly try to appreciate for all they are. I realize there are people who are not able to have children for one reason or another. And God has blessed us with three beautiful, healthy, smart little ones. He trusted us to raise them up. I often feel guilty, like why me? Why not someone else who would also be a good mother, and love them. That I just don't understand. But I know I must never take for granted that I have been blessed with those babies. Even in my most frustrated moment as a mother I still drop to my knees and thank God for them. The most amazing people I've met. My wonderful, wonderful children. Thank you God. Thank you for my babies..

*sighs* I don't know what to take from this. Just a reminder.. Be thankful. Because there are others not as fortunate as you. There are those without shelter, food, or freedom....

Emotional MESS!

Sometimes I seriously hate nursing hormones. They make me a crazy woman! I swear! Ugh. They make me overly emotional and irrational! I don't know if this is intensified because I'm nursing two at once, or what. That's what I tell myself to make me feel better. Hmph.

Direct TV was supposed to come install today. They couldn't find a signal because we live on this God forsaken mountain! (Have I mentioned how badly I want to sell our house!?) So therefore there is no other option but to deal with the crappy over priced cable we have. Since NOTHING else comes up here. No optimum, no fios, nada. Just crappy 100 a month cable for nothing tv. That has added to my frustrations today. But I suppose I shouldn't sweat the small stuff?

*sighs*

Nothing else new really going on here...

Anyways.. I'll be back with something useful to say soon.
Hopefully.

We're back!

We are back from Disney! Exhausted but we had an AWESOME time!! The kids LOVED it. Esp. Sami... It was just great. When I'm not so tired I'll update with more... Pictures and all that jazz. But I'll leave you with this shot from our character breakfast with Pooh and friends!