Literally. I go back and forth constantly about adding a Fourth baby to the family... Most days I feel like I could handle it.. But as I've mentioned in previous posts I'll have one of those days and think that 4 would overwhelm me..
The thought of never being pregnant again, never giving birth, never having a newborn, or nursing, or watching another baby grow makes me incredibly sad. Almost unbearably sad... And I wonder if that alone means I truly do want another. Or if I'll feel that way no matter how many children I have. How does a person ever really know they are "done" anyways?
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE being pregnant. Even through morning sickness, aches, pain, lethargy, constipation. All of it. I LOVE pregnancy. The joy of the miracle outweighs any of the discomforts. It's such an amazing experience and I can't imagine not going through it at least one more time. At the same time.. I don't want to take away from the three beautiful babies I do have. They need me so much and sometimes I Think it wouldn't be fair to add an addition and take away some of their attention.
I do try to make sure they all have individual time with me everyday- and I have a good system worked out for us. *sighs* I don't know. I suppose I have plenty of time to decide this. That's what Husam tells me. I'm only 27 and Samirah is only 11 months.
Just venting out some feelings!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment