Spring has Sprung!

Well it appears Spring has sprung here in New Jersey! This has been one of the mildest winters I can ever remember! Last year we were slammed with several feet of snow.. I remember the last storm bought nearly 2 feet alone.. And it followed a storm that had just dropped over a foot. It was miserable and late in the winter.. I'm thinking mid-March.. You know, that point where your really ready for winter to be over!!!

But this year we really didn't have any snow at all.. We had one freak storm in October and that was basically it.. No white Christmas.. The ski resorts had an awful season... But I'm not complaining. If you know me. I hate snow!!! I hate winter!! The only good things about winter were the births of the two youngest kiddos :-) Samirah and Maya were both born in the winter xoxo.

So. Everything here is going good. My days are super busy with the kids, and at night time I try to sit and knit.. I'm working on a really cute pattern actually! I found it on ravelry.. I bought it too.. which I rarely do. I always feel i can find something similar for free... But it was such a cute skirt pattern that I went for it! It's pleated and I'm hoping it comes out well.. I finished the waistband on it, but am waiting for some new yarns to come in the mail so I can finish it.

What else?? We're preparing for a return trip to Disney in April for Sami's 4th birthday! To say the kids are excited would be an understatement! We were there last November and everyone had so much fun. This will be Maya's first trip! I'm a little worried how the car ride will go for her, but hopefully it wont be bad.

Still tandem nursing Samirah and Maya.. Though Samirah is really only nursing Mornings and Evenings.. though sometimes she'll even forget one... She's 26 months now, so weaning is up to her at this point. 2 years old is always my goal then I let them do the weaning after that point.

I don't have anything else terribly exciting to report, but don't want to leave my blog quiet for so long anymore, I'm working to post more. I do have some serious actual informative posts I want to make, but they will require me to be more well rested lol.

So just saying "Hi!" Blog-o-sphere! Talk to you soon!

The Home Birth of Maya Husam!

Well.. Maya is 2 months old.. So yea.. Perhaps i should post a blog?! Its really hard to blog with four kids by the way... It's hard to do lots of things with four kids.. lol

So, as I had discussed before going on blog hiatus, I was planning (Very excitedly) for a home birth of our fourth and final child. Our precious Maya.. Also known as, Mayalou, May-leen, My-leen, Mayleenie... you get it.

On Christmas Eve contractions began late at night, they continued on into Christmas day.. Nothing crazy, but consistent.. I wanted to get through that
day for the kids. Make them special Christmas dinner as I always do, presents, etc. I got through it!

On the 26th the contractions continued, 5-7 minutes apart. I was losing it! Days of the same.. I couldn't sleep because of them and I was going a bit nutty. The next day on the morning of the 27th, I called my midwives and explained the situation. I needed someone to talk me down from the ledge! lol. I was 40+ 2 days at that point and was content to be pregnant for WEEKS more of that is what Maya wanted, but please, get these contractions to STOP!!!!

My midwife Roxie did a non stress test and Maya was fantastic, she checked me- there was tons of "Bloody show" Which I had never experienced before with any of the three other kids but I had confirmed to her it had been happening for two days now.. She felt my pain, she gave me such a good talk that I was content to go home and wait. For however long it would be. She was confident it would be "In the next day or two!"

I went home and the contractions continued.. The same as they had been for the past few days. I sat on my yoga ball on the computer and played games for awhile, stopping and leaning over it with each contraction, Still, I wasn't convinced "This was it" .. I am quite a drive for my midwives and I didn't want to call them until I was "Sure" but with labor like this.. How would I be sure!?

My husband felt that this was it so he went up to get some rest. I stayed downstairs for awhile more, then went up to bed. Couldn't sleep, so I decided to run a bath.. I got in and the contractions continued. I just honestly didn't know what to think.. With my fourth you'd think I'd just know.. But it didn't work out that way. So sitting in the tub I swayed back and forth.. I sang to Maya.. I moaned.. And then..

I prayed.

I said "Please God. If this is "it" please let my water break. Please because otherwise I just don't know if I should call anyone" It wasn't two minutes later that I felt POP. POP. And my water broke. I yelled from the bathroom to Husam to please call my midwives. This was it. My water had broken !! IT was 11 pm. My midwife got immediately in her car and headed over (Thank Goodness) My other midwife and doula in the practice headed over too (though they didn't make it in time for the actual birth they were fantastic after the fact!)

Husam told me to stay in the tub and just relax and he'd start setting up my birthing tub. It took him awhile to get it blown up, and then he slowly began to fill it. I was desperate to get in it. I knew I was getting closer as the contractions picked up. There was no denying it. I was in transition..

I got out of the tub because I had to use the bathroom and i paced around.. I had called my sister while Husam was on the phone with my midwife and she arrived shortly after. She came in and asked me if I was okay, and then went in the kids room to lie down (She didn't want to see the actual birth- just not her thing)

I went and laid down on the bed and knew she was coming. Fast. I could feel her moving down the birth canal and though "no no no! I want to get in that tub!!! I want my midwife!!! " I called to Husam and he was nervous, clearly... He knew it was almost time too and I don't think he mentally prepared himself to deliver the baby on his own... I yelled at him to call my midwife and see how far she was.. She told him she was about 10 minutes away.. I think she made it there in about 5.. But it seemed like the longest five minutes of my life.

I heard her car come up our hill.. I told Husam that I thought she was here .. (My midwife was shocked at my calm for the given situation)
He went downstairs to meet her and i felt so relieved when I heard her voice downstairs.. She rushed up and found me on my side on my bed holding the babies head in.. yeah... She really should have been out. lol. She leaned over and felt the water and the birthing pool on the walk to my bed.. It was way too hot.. And only a quarter of the way full. She told me it just wasn't going to happen and she was sorry...

She sat down on the bed and told me "Let your baby out" It was very intense.. Birthing a baby outside of the water is much more intense than having a water birth. Husam walked up and held out both of his hands to me.. I remember thinking I didn't want to hold his hands, but reconsidered in those few seconds that I would need the support. So I grabbed onto his hands.. I pushed and I felt her emerging .. Though not comfortable, always an amazing exhilarating feeling none the less. It burned, for sure, but it was also a warm feeling. My midwife told me to stop pushing and just breath her out the rest of the way so I wouldn't tear ... I remember saying that I just wanted to get her out at that point. Even though I had only pushed once really.. But I resigned and said okay and began to pant. I felt her slip and slide the rest of the way. The entire time I remember Husam in the backround (Though right next to me) shouting encouragement. I could hear the excitement in his voice and it was nice, but I had really been concentrating on getting her out!!!

It took her a moment to cry, my midwife had to give her a breath... She had sat for a few minutes in the birth canal and the cord around her next, but before I could even realize anything she was pinked up and crying! My midwife is amazing, and calming, and I love her so much. She handed me Maya, and I looked and pronounced it was a girl! Husam had said all along she would be, and he was right. My midwife told me to be careful as her cord was short. We left it attached until it stopped pulsing, and probably for some time after..

I held her and looked at her. She was so beautiful... She was born just as the clock turned over to December 28th... at 12:10 am. She weighed 7 lbs 8 oz,. (Husam guessed exactly right) And was 20 inches long. So beautiful..

After Husam cut the cord and I got cleaned up a little we had my sister wake up Nadia to come meet her new baby sister.. She was so excited.. She came in while I was nursing Maya for the first time. And it was very special.

For me. Being at home for my birth was wonderful. Maya was born and conceived in the same spot. I think it's very special.. Made with love, and born into love. Our angel. I didn't have anyone waking us up in the middle of the night or bothering us, just my husband taking care of me (He did a fantastic job btw!) and my beautiful children loving over the new addition... It was wonderful... Not how i planned my home birth to go, but happened exactly as it was supposed to... I wish I had more pictures of the labor and the actual birth, but it just happened so fast!!

But there it is. The birth of our beautiful baby girl Maya..

My carriers and my thoughts on them...

First up is my freehand Mei Tai. I love this thing! In this picture we have the Ergo Organic strap covers on. This MT is very affordable ( I think it was only 70 something dollars) and I LOVE to it. I reach for it often and I find it perfect for everyday use!




Here is me and Sami showing off a back carry in our Babyhawk Oh Snap. I just adjusted it quickly as Samirah is usually carried in it, so he isn't in it completely properly (I know I know, but the kids were freaking out to go to the beach so I had limited time to work with! LoL) This is my favorite SSC... I LOVE it. It's SO SO adjustable. Moreso than my Ergo, the straps are sleeker for a more comfortable fit and it's GREAT for long term wear. Hiking, long walks, etc.




Next up- My Wild Child Mei Tai! Okay, to be honest this is the first time I've tried this one... Umm.. IT'S AWESOME! I just looked online to see where I could get another one but I have a feeling this brand isn't made anymore. I bought it at thebabywearer.com forums and I'm not able to find another. I'm truly upset by this because it is SO super comfortable and well made. I love the high back on it that can be folded down, and it's just beautiful. It is great. Going to have to see if I can get another one. If anyone knows where I can find one, please let me know!





Here is my Babyhawk MT. It's really great quality (As every babyhawk product I've tried is) Super comfortable, durable, well made, and easy to use. I love this one. And isn't the girly print TDF?? I like the straps on this as they are the pretty much the same as the Oh Snap. Sleeker and more comfortable thank some other carriers. Still padded though. I'd reccommend this to anyone.


My trusty peanut shell sling! This served me well for so many years and I do still love it.. I've just branched out from here lol

I'm not really a wrapper, But the Moby is forgiving even for a beginner. I like it esp for small newborns, but honestly, don't really use it anymore.

My ergo! It's a good sturdy carrier that is super comfortable and great for long term wear. I like the hood it has and it has really good back support. It's my second favorite SSC behind the babyhawk. The only complaint I have is the big bulky straps!

(Forgive the picture quality- Nadia took them lol)

Babywearing!

I need to get some better baby wearing photos... I'm always the one taking the pictures so it's not so easy lol. Maybe I'll have Nadia take some to show my other carriers..

I've really been feeling the babyhawk Love lately. I have an OH Snap and the babyhawk MT. (Mei Tai) I like the SSC (Soft structured carriers) For long term wear, and I like the Mei Tai's for everyday use. The SSC's are fast and easy to put on, but there is just something I love about the MT's... I don't know! I can't explain it!

I also have a freehand MT and a wild child MT. Both of which I like very much. I really want to get some pics of these different carriers so you can see them..

Do any of you babywear? What's your favorite carrier??

I've been thinking of trying a Boba...

You can never be too careful...

When it comes to your kids.
Now. Many people in my life think I'm completely neurotic when it comes to my children. I've heard the word "overprotective" thrown around.. "overbearing" etc. etc. You get the point. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and worry. Worry about things that will probably never go wrong or be an issue, but still, I worry. I can't help it. I don't feel like I'm doing my job if I'm not worrying, or trying to keep them safe.

Seeing all these children on the news being snatched is horribly upsetting for me to see. It's SCARY to be quite honest. and it's another thing to add to my list of things I worry about. One reason I feel safest wearing my babies. They are hard to snatch when they are strapped to your chest.

There are kids Nadia's age in the neighborhood who are allowed to play outside alone. Nadia always asks if she can go. NO WAY. "But.." she says " ((insert name here)) can play outside by themselves" Me... "Well ((insert name here)) doesn't have me for a Mommy, I dont' let you go away from me" .. And I think to myself. Aren't those parents worried?? Aren't they afraid of something awful happening? Not just abductions but any other number of dangers that lurk. I don't know. Maybe I am neurotic.. But I dont' understand how kids that are 5, 6, 7 , 8, 9, 10 ... Even up to 16 or 17 are allowed out unsupervised. I know I know some won't agree with me there. But honestly I like to live by the motto "Better safe than sorry" I know accidents and bad things can happen when your RIGHT NEXT to your child. So why would I take a chance at letting them away from me?? I have a hard time even letting Nadia go to school. It's tough.

I wonder. Will I lighten up at any point? How do you feel?

Why Co-sleeping works for me.

Co-sleeping is one of those choices we made in the moment. When Nadia was a baby it was easy. I could nurse her, have her close, cuddle, snuggle, etc. All that good stuff. Husam liked it too. We enjoyed the closeness of having her near us..

I did the same with Sami, only he outgrew it much faster. He sleeps better in his own bed now, at age 2.. where, Nadia still sleeps with us at age 4.

Obviously Samirah is cosleeping as well as she's only 6 months.

There are so many perks to Co-sleeping that I honestly can't imagine not doing it. Number 1. The simple fact I get more sleep! Bwhahahaaha. There is no getting up to get a baby to nurse. THey were always / are always right there!!! I barely have to wake up at all which is awesome.

The closeness! For me, it feels super un-natural to have my children far from me. Even in a room over. It just feels wrong. I enjoy being able to have them right next to me so I can check on them and make sure they are alright. And of course for snuggling purposes! Who doesn't like that?!

Daddy bonding! Since I breastfeed, my husband doesn't get the "feeding" bonding time that some bottle fed babies get. (And we don't use bottles at all.- I don't even have any in the house believe it or not) So having them share our bed is a great way for Daddy to snuggle the kids. It's a wonderful thing. We are surrounded by our babies.

I always say "Our bed, like our hearts, Are full" It's wonderful.

Do you co-sleep???

What Attachment Parenting means to me.

There are so many different aspects of Attachment Parenting.. A lot of the things I've done in Parenting were just things that came naturally to me..

When I was pregnant with my oldest, Nadia.. I knew I wanted to be the BEST Mom in the world , I wanted to be PERFECT!! (keep dreaming, right? ha ha )

When she was born and they handed her to me, it was instinct that told me to put her to the breast and nurse her. It wasn't as easy as I had imagined, but it still felt naturally for me to do so. It was instinct that made me want to hold her closely to me as much as possible. Do you know how many times I heard "You will spoil that baby if you don't put her down!!" Really?? Spoil a baby with love?

It was instinct for me to put her in my bed so I could watch over her. These things felt like the right thing to do. It wasn't something I had researched at length at the time.

As more children came along, and I learned more, and researched more I found out there were so many benefits to how I had been parenting. And how I could become an even better parent..
For me, I always thought it was normal what I was doing.. But talking to other Mom's I realized not everyone did those things. Some people felt more comfortable putting their child in a crib. I even came across some Moms who let their child cry it out. These ways of parenting were just not for me. I could never sit by while one of my kids cried. In fact, I still can't. It doesn't feel right.

So, for me, these practices came naturally to me. How about for you? Was it something you researched and learned about? Or was it just what you felt was the right things to do at the time?